you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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