You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
