I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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