I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
