I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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