you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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