wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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