you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
