Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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