Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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