I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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