Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
nutella sex= disaster
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
