Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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