I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
