Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
