I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
