i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize