Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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