Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
