I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
