She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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