do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
