Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
