My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
