Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
