also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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