I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize