I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
