your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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