You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
