OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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