First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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