i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
