she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
