Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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