just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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