Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
