i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
