you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
