When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
