Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
