this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
