you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The air was thick with penises
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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