No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize