You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
that is very illegal...i love you.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
