Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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