whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i will never coherently bang her
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
