he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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