There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
