he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
