Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
