his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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