I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
