Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
