Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
