I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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