just tell him i said nine months
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
