it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize