we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
