I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
